Cynthia's Secret Chamber

Something in me has been missing for quite some time!!!!!!!!!!!
Where have my confidence gone to?! 

OMG!

I felt inferior at times! why huh? i need to regain my confidence in myself! :)

Examinations dates are drawing nearer. Where have my study mood gone to? :(
Time to sleep already.. will update on HANTING WEDDING! :)

20/09/2009 - Wedding Of HanTing and Cindy

* love is sleeping his way through, doesnt want to wake him up! :)

I should stop my thinking now!
STOP!!
now i must STOP STOP STOP! :(

i start to anyhow think again! awwww!! :(

SNOWBOARDING!


i want to try! :D

After my econs test, i sneezed all the way till lesson ended. :( Once i reached home, i started having slight fever and continous coughing.
Econs test was still beyond my control :) still able to pass :)

Tomorrow is friday already. I'll be having my Marketing test.. wooo.. till now i still haven't started studying. :(
As my fever just resided. :( This is the highest temp i have in my life, 39.2degrees! omg! never hit so high before. dont know whether i got brain damage not! :X

hopefully tomorrow test i'm able to pass :)
hopefully i recover real soon!

* love is coming back on saturday.. another 1 and a half day! :( sad...

Today i'm having my Macroeconomics Test. OOOO.. i'm scared but luckily it's MCQs!! :)

hopefully i could get a better grades! :)
i'm hungry now. awww!
i'm sick too. a lil bit sore throat, cough and running nose. hope it wont affect my thinking! :)

WISH ME LUCK...

* love is currently at Bali, awww! 4 days more... waiting for him to come back to this sunny island!!
i miss him so much! hahah! :) but it's a great time to test my patience and concentrate on my studies. :)

Many things happen recently :(

• accident on 09/09/09
• my hamster(jin mao) died on 10/09/09
• lots upset things..

My heart suddenly cant take it with all the hits in just 4days. Everyday my tears just cant stop falling down. everything seems so dull.
i'm getting depressed really soon. i need a shoulder to lean on. i think after this post i will stop doing posting of my thoughts and sorrows. :(

Since young, i am always the less blessed among my sisters.
getting more and more demoralised :(

you're leaving me alone when i need you most. what happened?

Randomly felt like blogging. So logged in!

I'm just starting to get bored over my life. Starting to get so plain and lifeless. :(

Lots of things i wanted to try in my life. Not sure when but will try definitely. :)
- Diving
- Sky diving
- Bungee Jumping
- At least 1 tattoo on my body [not sure yet cos' there's no idea picture of what i want it to be]
- START MY OWN RETAIL BUSINESS

Other things i want to do it by this year,
- Going on a Cruise
- Going to Beach Overseas to relax
- Going Taiwan to SHOP TILL DROP!

but main thing now, WORK HARDER FOR MONEY!
i want to learn now most is " stop being so sensitive and emotional, learnt up the WHO CARES ATTITUDE " :)

I NEED MORE MOOLAH! :)
Tests are 2week away from now. OMG! HELL YEA, need to start mugging before it's too late!

I WISH I WISH...

TO BE MORE HAPPY NOW.
NO DOUBTS
AND WHERE'S MY MR. RIGHT?

I NEED A PERSON WHO CAN DEPEND ON ALTOUGH I CAN SUPPORT MYSELF.
BUT AT TIMES, I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO BE THERE FOR ME.

KINDA HARD. BUT JUST WISHING...

I hasn't been blogging for like weeks.
Although i've alot of things to do, i have alot of unhappiness inside me right now.
But what to do?
Say also can't solve, might as well keep to myself. :(

Every time i told myself, whenever i'm unhappy, i will find someone to talk to or my mum to talk about.
But now, i just want to keep it to myself. All inside myself.
Like a bottle filled with my doubts, worries, unhappiness.. dont know who to share with or how to express myself.
I hope my bottle dont overflow. :( if overflow equals to anytime i will collapse. :(

If my life ain't got you. I dont know how it's like. Happy? Normal? Unhappy?
So much things i know but i just acted that i dont know. Is it the way i should be? To you, yes. To me, kind of hard to continue acting like a dumb. But i don't know how long can i continue being like this. Loving you is my choice. Although i know there's more choices out there. But i also dont know why?!

WHY AM I GETTING ALL THIS NOW?! :'(
WHY AM I GETTING SO EMOTIONAL NOW? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? ALL ALONG IT'S LIKE THIS. WHY?

I took a Quiz on what kind of heart i have..

my schedule is getting packed recently.
- sprees site
- studies
- going out
- family

omg! a holiday break last month, after came back seems like i got more things to do! things are pilling up! anytime will cover me up!
bills after bills to clear. recently online biz is getting more and more quiet. dont know what's wrong. it's time to do some publicity jobs!! :))

i'm hungry now! :|
I WANT TO GO SCIENCE CENTRE. when can i go?! :X i'm still waiting!! :|

:)

gonna prepare to go out! from tomorrow onwards, need to start mugging for my school work. due to the test and other stuff is coming and i still dont understand econs and accounting! omg!! :|

I miss you so..

Suddenly after talking to you, i realised that i'm quite lousy at expressing what i wanted to say. :(
I'm afraid that you wont want to share your thoughts with me in future as you said i dont understand. Am i really that stupid?
i hope i really can understand what you want to say or the meaning hidden in your words.

I felt so sad right now. Seriously, my tears started rolling down after we went quiet for a few seconds. I cried but i didnt want you to know. I want to be strong in front of you. such a silly girl, always wanted you to be happy instead of herself. you're always her priority on top of anything.

I love you more than everything. why? are you the same too? i'm confused and paranoid.
Sorry, my love! Sorry that i unable to help in anything. :(

Am i making the right choice now? :(
Is it right or wrong?!
Am i making myself like a fool? Sometimes i think i really not suitable for him as, if i were to compare, i'm really not as good as my competitor. :( she's a threat to me.
Demoralising right? But slightly somehow, i think it's quite true. :(
hais....... WHAT TO DO?!

tomorrow school gonna start, hopefully i can get out of all this shit and start studying! I need to chase back what i've lost.
I need to get a laptop mini asap. Today my lil cousin cough at my food! awwww!! i think i gonna fall sick soon! omg! her virus is damn strong!

1 good news to share, i strike 4D again! :) Not much this time round. $20. :) wahahhaa!
=.=" Dont be greedy!! :)

蔡依林-妥协

你总爱编织谎言我负责配合表演
所有改变只为了进入你的世界
这情节重复了一百遍
才发现是你的心太野

你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规
所有时间都是先给了你优先权
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
成了你的傀儡一年两年
才看见我有多狼狈

爱到妥协到头来还是无解
绑着你不让你飞
历史不断重演我好累

爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写
你已下最后通牒

我躲在我的世界

你只是害怕一个人睡
我不想再为你掉泪
我了解不会变不再徘徊
开始自己的明天

The highlighted words is my feeling right now. Saw something which i really dont feel like see-ing again. The feeling sucks, i felt like a fool over and over again but.. Is i think too much or It is just like what i've seen?! I didnt clarify as i dont want to spoil the relationship right now. Although now being hidden with all the truth is blissful but i just cant help it not to go view and kpo. :(

Things around me are just going on mono tone right now. The things around me is just only straight line, there's no UPs and DOWNs. Although a plain normal life is definitely the best, no worries no unhappiness, but still there's times whereby you will want some up and down. :)

Nothing much recently. Going out with AJ is my favourite past time right now but i'm worried when if we didnt meet that often, i will feel uneasy. 一切回忆都像是童话故事里的灰姑娘，美好的梦境好像快要结束了. I DONT WANT! I WANT HAPPILY EVER AFTER! if really possible. Really hope everything is back on track for him, no worries for money and business. I'm starting school real soon. :\ Although a lil happy and a lil sad. Super contradicting huh?!

amazingly i sleep at 9pm and woke up at 5am! COOL! isn't that so?! But i'm feeling bad right now, cos' i promised to accompany AJ to eat! arhg !$#@$%#!$@#%@%

he still owe me..
- a trip to science centre before Da Vinci Exhibition ends.
- an overseas trip
- my b'day present! * a long waited surprise.
- a short getaway trip to malaysia

thinking of you fulfilling all the above, i felt :)
but school is starting soon, i felt :(

Coach on SALE. DAMN CHEAP!!
The Birkenstock, aim for very long le, just buy since SG also not much difference. :)

AVENUE OF STARS!! :)

Oh my.. My blog is dying soon! So lifeless.


Steamboat - Day 1

Back from Hong Kong on 21 July midnight. Reached home with a happy feeling, super shagged after the few days at Hong Kong. Due to raining and typhoons, almost drenched even you have umbrellas with you as the wind is damn strong.

I'll upload pictures when Siqi pass it to me! :)

Just woke up from sleep due to last night went to lots of places. Loyang Dua Pek Gong to bai bai! :) then headed to Mustafa, i didn't know it's a place you can shop more than 3hours?!
haha! I was shock when i get out of the place. Went to buy 4D and eat breakfast, when i reached home, immediately i knock out on bed. HAHA! :X

* WISH ME LUCK TONIGHT!!

15 July 2009 Wednesday, BP PLAZA

Today went out to eat dinner with AJ at BP plaza. The whole building air-con went malfunction. =.=" It's damn hot eating while there's no air-con. The whole mall can hardly see a few people. I think the vendors' business was bad with so little crowds.

Add another collection to my bags and accessories.

I ordered a Kate Spade Wristlet 2 weeks ago. :)
It just arrived today. :)


It's not really clear, please forgive me! :X

12 July 2009, 10.30am
Early in the morning, woke up and went to Loyang Tua Pek Gong with AJ. This was the first time we when Loyang Tua Pek Gong together. I went to repay the God for the " HELP " i should say. Though i'm superstitious, but better to believe than not to. :)

After praying, we went for our breakfast cum Lunch at Tampines Mall. Teppanyaki!! My FAVOURITE during secondary school days. After school always go Lot 1 Food Court for lunch! That was few years back.

We shop and shop.. Tampines Mall is full of crowds due to the Hokkaido Food Fair campaign. The whole shopping mall has a fishy smell! OMG! ewww!! You will feel like puking if you're damn full. When to UNIQLO to take a look, their stuff really looks like American Apparel stuff. HA! We stepped into City Chain later and started to take a look at French Connection Watches.

Both of us bought a FCUK watch. :)

MY NEW WATCH!


We shopped till about 5pm. We left and headed home. He send me home first as he needs to work in the evening.